Kids Today

I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere in time, people got lazy. I don't mean that people are sitting at home not doing anything, it just seems that the a lot of workers have decided that they don't need to do anything but the minimum. From where does this mentality stem?

While I'm no model associate or some beacon of light that companies can use to guide their employees, I just believe in hard work. I have seen the decline of attitude, workmanship, quality and overall efficiency in the last few years. Maybe it's due to the fact that I have grown up and decided that my life and future are up me, as opposed to sitting around, waiting on a handout. I believe attitude has more to due with it than anything else.

You are entitled to nothing. I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you.

I understand some readers may be taken aback by this post, but the truth is sometimes painful to those that have been numb to it. I do not wish to offend anyone, however, I am tired of picking up messes, listening to excuses and doing the jobs of said employees. If you can not focus on your job and do it to the best of your ability... quit. The unemployment rate is 9% in the United States. I'll find someone who wants to make money and wants to keep making it.

I'm relatively young so I'm not certain that generational stereotypes are a good source of blame. I believe there are many factors. People are tired of economic struggles, promises of change with no execution, lies, jobs being taken overseas, etc. I get that. I am as well. I just can't let that be an excuse. No matter what a politician says (or most people for that matter), I'll believe it when I see it. It's hard living in this Free World where everyday people are losing houses, losing jobs and losing a way of life, but don't let your poor quality of work be the reason.

I'm blessed to live in a good state with a strong economy, low unemployment rate (5.6%) and strong companies that are in need of employees. I'm also blessed to realize that my employment is up to me.
Do I like the fact that I HAVE to work? No.
Do I show that by being lackadaisical in performance? No.
I've had many jobs in my life. I've been promoted at most of them (too be honest, I didn't want to be promoted at the amusement park. I liked playing in the bumper boats with the kids. It was fun).

The point is this, I've done my job. I've done my job well. I do not want to do yours also...

New Thresholds

Patients Log
Aug. 19, 2011
Day 5

It's impossible for one to know their tolerance level without testing it. Whether it be for pain, patience or some other form of torture, limits would have to be pushed in order to know the true strength of oneself.

I have truly tested my self on both of the examples above: pain and patience. Sitting in a room for 5 days will truly test patience. While I have not yet met my limit, I have found myself keeping the door open just for the opportunity to wave at a passerby. Nurse's have become my link to the outside world and my wife actually looked forward to doing laundry this week! She was happy to do it because she got to go home for a couple of hours. I've been seen around the halls at night, carrying a machine attached to my chest via a tube, just to get a bag of ice and a glass of water. Honestly, I have water but the walks are the best part of the night. I have a few minutes, with Becky, to get out of the room and actually walk (I've been in this bed so long, my tailbone hurts).

As for pain, I experienced the most painful thing I have ever even imagined Thursday morning. To make it worse, they basically woke me up to do it! I can handle a lot of things, but I do not like to be woke up to go places or do something right off the bat. I digress; back to the pain.

Pleurodesis

In short, this procedure is a chemical way to keep your lung from leaking. To start, the doctor puts about 50 ML (estimated) of a (liquid) chemical into your chest tube. From the moment the doctor starts pushing that liquid, you can feel pressure in your chest and it burns for the first 3 minutes or so. After all of the chemical has been pushed through and you are so full that you can't breathe, the nurse will clamp the tube for 30 minutes so that the chemical can not drain out. At this time, the doctor will leave and leave the aftermath to the nurse. (Just another example of why nurse's are the heartbeat of the hospital. I feel, especially after this week, doctors are too busy to deal with patients and their questions.I say the 'too busy' part sarcastically, but I'm not a doctor so I don't know what they are doing the other 23 hours and 52 minutes out of the day.)

I can barely describe the intense pain that I felt during this time. It's close to what I believe drowning feels like. I had so pressure built up in my chest, and more importantly against my lung, that it was impossible to inhale fully. It was hard to inhale at all. I was gasping for every breath. I was trying to tell the nurse that I couldn't breath, but she knew that and only had one piece of advise for me, "Relax. Relax your muscles and breathe as deep as you can."

I will admit that I was as tense as the atmosphere of a first date after the telling of a poor humored joke that the other found offensive... seconds before the check came, but I was drowning on dry land! I had no intention of relaxing! I fought my basic instinct of Fight or Flight and chose to remain as calm as possible and believe I would be alright (and by calm, I mean stay tense, TRY to relax for about 30 seconds, then, have back spasms because my muscles were tired of being locked tight). At one point, Becky turned the iPod on and attempted to use it as a Focal Point to help me breathe and relax. It worked too... for about 4/5 of a song. Only 15 minutes to go.

At the 30 minute mark, the nurse, Sarah, unclamped the tube and allowed the liquid to drain. It did not drain. Well, it may have drained, but it WAS NOT fast enough! I actually told Sarah she lied and asked, "What was the point of counting down?" I did apologize later for that and she said, "Don't worry. You took that really well and it did not hurt my feelings one bit."

I laid in bed for the next 2 hours as this poison leaked out of me at "The Speed of Smell." The pain in my chest slowly eased. However, the muscle in my lower back intensified, causing the right shoulder, right pectoral and abdomen to follow suit. Luckily, Sarah was able to reach my doctor and ask about a more potent shot to ease the pain. While morphine has been a very dear friend to me this past week, the liquid muscle relaxer that I was introduced to quickly won me over. Sarah also granted my request for a heating pad. I knew I liked Sarah!

I sit here today well rested and nearly pain free. The nurses come in from time to time to check vitals and ask, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your pain level right now?" Never again will I answer that question with a 10... at least I hope not.

My Lazy Lung

"Breath is Spirit. The act of breathing is Living. ~Author Unknown"

The complexity of something so simple is astounding to me. One second, you're lying on the couch enjoying the mindless shenanigan's of a syndicated sitcom, the next, you are flat on your stomach, on the floor, trying to talk yourself into ignoring the pain caused by inhaling long enough to take one more breath. It's a funny thing, this moment... Alright, not so funny IN the moment, but later, you will laugh. I promise.

I think you now know what led to me being in this hospital bed. Starting with the pain of what appeared to be a pinched nerve in my right shoulder blade (Aug. 9th), I tried to stretch it out by laying down. That was a mistake. I remember chuckling at my wife when she was sprawled out on the bed, a couple years ago, with a pinched nerve, thinking she was being a weenie... She was happy to return the favor... With interest.

After learning to laugh at myself while having a diaphragm on fire, I picked myself up off the floor and iced my shoulder for the remainder of the night. The next morning (Aug 10th), I made my way to the Chiropractor to be radiated (X-Rays), poked (acupuncture) and twisted (adjustment). I went back the next day, as well, before going to my job to hand in my doctor's note. They sent me to the clinic they use, in case the injury occurred on the job. It was there I was told the true source of my pain.

Spontaneous Pneumothoraux
**If you've never heard of this condition, you're not alone. I had never heard of it before Thursday (Aug. 11th). I put a link in the name of the condition (above) so that you could become familiar with the types of Pneumotharaux that exist. This is a painful and, apparently, common thing. If you or a loved one are 20-30 years old, then read about it and know what the symptoms are.**

Thursday afternoon, after walking around with my lung laying atop my stomach, I was admitted to the E.R. with a collapsed lung. I was treated as a First Priority Patient. I was the least nervous person in the room. I was swarmed by upwards of 18 people at times, signed more pages of consent than I've ever seen, set up with an I.V., and had a tube in my chest faster than the Micro-Machine Man could read a disclaimer about choking on his product. It all went pretty smoothly, aside from having to readjust the tube twice after the initial insertion.

After an overnighter, a few more doses of radiation, and a sippie cup that probably cost ME more than the wheelchair that I rode out on, I was off to live my life... for Three Days.

On Monday (Aug. 15), I went to the doctor's office because I didn't feel as well as I believed I should have. I was right to worry. My lung had decided to take another vacation to Tropic of Stomach: South Resort. Great news... if you like bad food, needles in your arms and tubes in your chest. Good thing the morphine is plentiful! I had scar tissue that was still rather fresh. I didn't want a tube sucking on my insides for 3-4 days, trapped in the off-white walls and yellow rustic of that bed. As if I had a choice, right?

I could write a novel about my experience at this facility, but I'll keep this post short. Today (Aug 17th), I have been in this room for over 48 hours and have at least 24 remaining. Possibly, 48. I keep sane by posting on FaceBook, Twitter, and reading about the relationship of The Pioneer Woman and Marlboro Man. Even more than all the technology, Becky has been here. She has kept me laughing, played cards with me and played a whole lot of "Go-For!" When I was stuck in this bed so long that my tailbone feels bruised, she was the one running down the hall for ice, holding my hand whileni try to get up and go to the restroom, or pick everything up because bending over makes my lung hurt. She has really put her fear of this situation on the back burner and made sure I was comfortable. What else is new, that's how she operates. Enjoy laughing at my pain as I hope to post anecdotes and quips on Revamp the longer I stay.

I would like to say that I love my readers and am happy to be able to post this story. It could have been a more tragic story, brought to you from another view point. Life IS that fragile.

Does Dreamer's Disease Need a Cure?

I feel I do have Dreamer's Disease. I'm always thinking of ways to improve technology or inventing the "Next Big Thing." I've had countless ideas that were actually feasible and within reason of putting the effort and time into developing. I use this energy to make music, write Stand-Up material, write and perform in skits, and mostly, annoy my wife with constant ramblings and insane ideals of book writing (I have written the first chapter and have the setting, plot, and most characters completed, but I've really lost interest). While Dreamers Disease is probably one of the best "illnesses" you can acquire, it's no Goal Setter's Syndrome. I'll explain.

Dreamer's Disease is an infatuation of realistic ideals that one conjures in daily life (examples are above). While dreaming about ways to improve your life or the lives of those around you is good (and healthy), all in all, you're still only dreaming. Goal Setter's Syndrome differs in one significate aspect... By setting goals, and achieving them, accomplishments follow. In other words, dreams are important to development, but goals are essential to dreamers.

I've spent a good amount of my "illness" making excuses for my worst attribute: procrastination. I think overcoming procrastination is the key to moving past DD and inheriting GSS. Excuses are just another form of my attribute.

"If I had a keyboard/midi controller, I could make better beats. I NEED one."

My procrastination shall no longer stand. It will crumble to goals I set and cower as I come closer to achieving them. I've decided that dreaming is now just a step in my goal making process. Dream to believe in the possibility; set a goal to achieve my dreams.

Taking Over Your Dreams

If you've never seen the show "Futurama," allow me to explain a small detail of the show. The show takes place in the year 3001. Companies have the ability to "beam" commercials into your head while you sleep. Commercials that involve you and make you have a connection with the product in the "commercial." Pretty crazy idea, yet brilliant. I'm sure that corporations today would LOVE to develop this technology. Anyway, my point...

Last night, I had a dream that really made me think. I dreamt that I purchased a new phone. I believe it was a Samsung Galaxy S or a Droid X. Doesn't really matter, it was a dream after all. I played with this phone quite a while in this dream. I remember feeling frustrated trying to use the touch screen. Getting mad at the phone for not being as easy to use as my old phone. I was furious at this phone for dropping a call, being hard to text on, and the overall performance and User Interfacing. I even went as far as wanting to go back to AT&T and taking advantage of the 30 day return policy and buying a new version of my old phone.

I understand that at this point of my story you are wondering, "What is he rambling about? What is the point?" Good question. Here's it is.

Does Apple have a machine that can interfere with my dreams!? I was really upset with that phone. I woke up literally appreciative of my iPhone 4! That got me thinking... And now I'm asking you, have you ever had something like this happen? Have you ever woke up and been happy to have a PC over a Mac or have a Ford over a Chevy? Just wondering.

Troubled Times for All

Today is the day. I have already released the album for listening, but today is the day you can download it!

The process is simple:

Go Bandcamp.com;

Click Buy Now;

Either put zero dollars to download it for free,
or put how ever much you would like to pay for the album.

You're done!


I would also like to point out my Favorites:

Discrimination Scrutinizer (Change)
Haunted (Never Stop Me)
I Had To (Outta the Streets)

Of course, I love them all.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Are you getting sick of standing there looking pretty? Do you want to hide away in your box until December comes around? I want you gone too. Quit staring at me. It's not like I broke your favorite ornament. Why can't you pack yourself up?

B: You really need to take down the Christmas tree.

J: I don't want to take down the Christmas tree.

B: I don't want to take it down either.

J: I put it up, you take it down.

B: I don't want to take it down.

J: You're off all day Saturday.

B: You're off all day today.

J: Maybe we don't have to take it down. It's not bothering me.

B: It is pretty.

J: Maybe it will fit in the closet like that...

B: Maybe.

Sorry little fella. Looks like you're going to stand still and look pretty for an undetermined amount of time. Maybe we'll change your ornaments and call you a Valentine's Day tree. Eh, doubtful. We'll probably leave the same ornaments on and call you a Valentine's Day tree. Yeah, that's more realistic.

I Saw the Signs...

Last week, I bought a new hair remover cream at Sally's. I didn't really need one, but it wasn't Nair, and I hate the way Nair smells, so I thought what the hell, I'll give it a whirl. All the signs told me DO NOT put this stuff on your upper lip, but did I listen? Noooo!

1st sign: It was 4.99, but it rang up 9.99, and I didn't realize it until I had already paid, so I had to get a refund.

2nd sign: I was reading the directions where it CLEARLY said, "No Odor" I could smell it already and the cap wasn't even off, so obviously my definition of no odor is vastly different from theirs.

3rd sign: I take off the cap, and what appeared to be water started running down the bottle and my hand. I thought that's weird. I hadn't used it in the shower, so where did the water come from? I smell my hand, and OMG it smelled like nasty, nasty skunk chemical.

4th sign: I get it all cleaned up and screw the cap back on, and the part attached to the bottle (think toothpaste: the part that the toothpaste comes out of) breaks off...it breaks the F off. So here I am standing with this crap I will probably end up throwing in the garbage.

Despite all the signs, I put it on my upper lip. About 15 seconds go by, and it starts to burn, and the smell is miserable. I think to myself, I can do this. 15 more seconds go by, and by this time my lip is on FIRE. I start trying to wash it off, and it is like gum on the bottom of your shoe it just won't come off. By this time my head is under the faucet, and maybe just maybe a tear rolls down my cheek.

I finally get the fire off my upper lip, and I get out the hand mirror to see what kind of damage I had done. It worked! I was supposed to leave that crap on my lip for 4-6 minutes, and in a mere 30 seconds it did its job.

Moral of the story? Don't use Clean + Easy Hair Remover from Sally's. Unless you're into that kind of thing, and by kind of thing I mean torture... My lip burned for hours.

Self Aware

Today, I was creating a short resume to apply for a promotion at my job. Creating a list of skills was part of this process. I know a resume is a way to make yourself look good in a short amount of space and highlighting your best attributes is key. However, it got me thinking about the traits and habits that most people hide or flat out ignore.

Self awareness is defined as: aware of oneself, including one's traits, feelings, and behaviors. That goes for good or bad. I'm aware that I bite my nails, have a tendency to ramble on about unimportant matters and can ignore everything around me when focused on something. Those are a few of my bad.

I believe that Self Awareness is probably the most important attribute that one can possess. It has to be True Awareness though. One can not dwell on minute details that makes one have false belief. For example, I'm aware that my nose is big. I don't believe that I am ugly because of this though. I feel that other features I have balance out that "honker" and give it character.

I'm sure the purpose of this post. I guess I just wanted to put this out there for people to see and give everyone a little glimpse into my thoughts for the day.

Building self-esteem and confidence come from self awareness. Making life-altering decisions come from it, as well. You have to know yourself before you can move in the right direction from whatever obstacle you may be facing. Whether that obstacle is: deciding your major in college; finding a job that is right for you; potentially ending a marriage/relationship; etc., self awareness is the first step.


Being self aware is knowing:

• what you want in your life


• your strengths and weaknesses


• what motivates you and makes you happy


• what you want to change about yourself or about your life


• your achievements so far


• how you relate to others


• you need to improve as a person


• your most important beliefs and values


• how you see yourself as a person

WHatever you are doing in life, I hope you are happy. If not, dig deeper and find happiness.

I Want to Hold Your Hand Mitten....

A little bit about our oh so glamorous life (Every time I say the word glamorous I want to burst out in song thanks to Fergie; she taught people across the world how to spell glamorous).

Anyway....

We have a bedtime routine. John always kisses me goodnight and we will hold hands or touch in some fashion until we drift off. Last night was extra special because it is winter time people, and we all know that winter makes your skin dry. I crawled into bed wearing my mittens (sexy, right?) because my hands were saturated with lotion, and believe it or not wearing mittens/socks/gloves really does help. John held my mitten. Ain't love grand?

I probably just confirmed several marriage stereotypes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. ♥ It doesn't get any better than this people.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

My Favorite Things - 2010 Edition

I stole this idea from someone else, then I took over my husband's blog to put it out there for the world to read. I guess that makes me....not very original. Now that we've cleared that up, here are a few of my favorite things from 2010.

1. iPhone 4. I fought the smartphone thing for the longest time. I made up all kinds of excuses why I didn't want/need one. Basically, what it boiled down to is I'm cheap. Plain and simple. The iPhone 4 changed my life. I'll have an iPhone for as long as they make them.

2. Pumpkin Roll Scentsy Bar. It's divine. It makes my house smell like Fall. I've also heard it is an aphrodisiac, but I can't confirm or deny that.

3. Big Bang Theory. The funniest show on television. Period. We discovered it this year and watched all the past seasons. This show has made me laugh so much this year. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur..."

4. Dark Kiss by Bath and Body Works. Everyone needs to start praying RIGHT NOW that this scent doesn't get discontinued. That always happens to me. I LOVE it, and usually when I fall in love with a scent they discontinue it.

5. Sony Vaio Netbook. This little guy has made traveling and going to class so much lighter. It's fun. My niece loves it. She's three and she thinks it is just her size.

6. Tide Febreze Sport. Smells phenomenal. Since I don't actually do the laundry around my house, the only requirement I have of laundry detergent is that it smell good. This one fits the bill.

7. Adidas Kanadia. I have always loved Adidas. This shoe takes comfort to the next level. I like that it isn't boring. It's a fun, lightweight, super comfy sneaker. I wear them a lot more than I thought I would.

8. Gardetto's Deli Style Mustard Pretzels. Need I say more? Yum.

That's all I've got for now. I hope everyone has a fabulous 2011. Maybe I'll blog a little this year, or maybe I won't. We'll see.

Becky