New Thresholds

Patients Log
Aug. 19, 2011
Day 5

It's impossible for one to know their tolerance level without testing it. Whether it be for pain, patience or some other form of torture, limits would have to be pushed in order to know the true strength of oneself.

I have truly tested my self on both of the examples above: pain and patience. Sitting in a room for 5 days will truly test patience. While I have not yet met my limit, I have found myself keeping the door open just for the opportunity to wave at a passerby. Nurse's have become my link to the outside world and my wife actually looked forward to doing laundry this week! She was happy to do it because she got to go home for a couple of hours. I've been seen around the halls at night, carrying a machine attached to my chest via a tube, just to get a bag of ice and a glass of water. Honestly, I have water but the walks are the best part of the night. I have a few minutes, with Becky, to get out of the room and actually walk (I've been in this bed so long, my tailbone hurts).

As for pain, I experienced the most painful thing I have ever even imagined Thursday morning. To make it worse, they basically woke me up to do it! I can handle a lot of things, but I do not like to be woke up to go places or do something right off the bat. I digress; back to the pain.

Pleurodesis

In short, this procedure is a chemical way to keep your lung from leaking. To start, the doctor puts about 50 ML (estimated) of a (liquid) chemical into your chest tube. From the moment the doctor starts pushing that liquid, you can feel pressure in your chest and it burns for the first 3 minutes or so. After all of the chemical has been pushed through and you are so full that you can't breathe, the nurse will clamp the tube for 30 minutes so that the chemical can not drain out. At this time, the doctor will leave and leave the aftermath to the nurse. (Just another example of why nurse's are the heartbeat of the hospital. I feel, especially after this week, doctors are too busy to deal with patients and their questions.I say the 'too busy' part sarcastically, but I'm not a doctor so I don't know what they are doing the other 23 hours and 52 minutes out of the day.)

I can barely describe the intense pain that I felt during this time. It's close to what I believe drowning feels like. I had so pressure built up in my chest, and more importantly against my lung, that it was impossible to inhale fully. It was hard to inhale at all. I was gasping for every breath. I was trying to tell the nurse that I couldn't breath, but she knew that and only had one piece of advise for me, "Relax. Relax your muscles and breathe as deep as you can."

I will admit that I was as tense as the atmosphere of a first date after the telling of a poor humored joke that the other found offensive... seconds before the check came, but I was drowning on dry land! I had no intention of relaxing! I fought my basic instinct of Fight or Flight and chose to remain as calm as possible and believe I would be alright (and by calm, I mean stay tense, TRY to relax for about 30 seconds, then, have back spasms because my muscles were tired of being locked tight). At one point, Becky turned the iPod on and attempted to use it as a Focal Point to help me breathe and relax. It worked too... for about 4/5 of a song. Only 15 minutes to go.

At the 30 minute mark, the nurse, Sarah, unclamped the tube and allowed the liquid to drain. It did not drain. Well, it may have drained, but it WAS NOT fast enough! I actually told Sarah she lied and asked, "What was the point of counting down?" I did apologize later for that and she said, "Don't worry. You took that really well and it did not hurt my feelings one bit."

I laid in bed for the next 2 hours as this poison leaked out of me at "The Speed of Smell." The pain in my chest slowly eased. However, the muscle in my lower back intensified, causing the right shoulder, right pectoral and abdomen to follow suit. Luckily, Sarah was able to reach my doctor and ask about a more potent shot to ease the pain. While morphine has been a very dear friend to me this past week, the liquid muscle relaxer that I was introduced to quickly won me over. Sarah also granted my request for a heating pad. I knew I liked Sarah!

I sit here today well rested and nearly pain free. The nurses come in from time to time to check vitals and ask, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your pain level right now?" Never again will I answer that question with a 10... at least I hope not.